"A rush of emotion just ran through me...

like a angry river cleansing the bed of rocks

of dirt and decay

of the past"

I don't talk about my beliefs that much. But here it goes. I'm first and foremost a die hard liberal who believes in the freedom of choice. Even though I may never go down that path I believe in the freedom. I believe a woman has the right stand up for her opinion and not be oppressed by tyrannical men.

Secondly, I'm a Christian. It wasn't till tonight I started to really think about the pain I felt inside of my heart for the loss of Shandy and Jaylen the most purely. I've begun a series titled "Soul Searcher" for my printmaking class. It's based upon the meditations of the soul that I've started to realize. Such as the need for the body just to let go, let the soul rise away from this damned world.

It wasn't till I started to listen to Coldplay's album A Rush Of Blood To The Head tonight I realized I haven't been feeding my soul the nourishment it needed to heal wholly.  The lyrics spoke to me like a prayer and I began to cry. It was the best cry I've had in a long time. I knew Shandy and Jaylen were alright. I know now that I still have a long time to fully heal from losing them, but I'm not the only one. So here I am sharing my love to you all who read this blog. 

Shandy was warm. She was kind. She was my soulmate and I'll miss her more than anything. But even though I may miss her, later in life I know I'll be closer each and every day to seeing her again. I have to have hope. I have to have faith that I everything will be fine. I have to be more kind to myself so I can start the healing process.